An FMS Story
At an album launching / December 2010
Seven years. Five albums. And the people that matter to him most are here. He went over to where they were sitting. “Hey guys, thank you for coming. This really means a lot to me.” And looking directly at her for the first time tonight he said, “And especially to this lady here who I know is very busy but really took the time to honor this event with her presence.”
“Well, I checked my schedule and thought, Hey, I could fit in Mark’s launching tonight! Come on Mark, you know I wouldn’t miss this for the world. Well, may be if Rob Pattinson had invited me to dinner, then I guess I’d have to choose him over you. But you’d totally understand that right?”
“Robert P.?! Come on Sarah, that guy’ll just eat my dust.”
“He’s right Sarah. Mark B. versus Robert P.? No contest there man.” Eric butted in.
“Of course! What was I thinking? Robert P. does not have his fifth album out in the market. Congratulations Mark. We’re so proud of you.”
“I really can’t thank you enough guys for coming.”
Rachel stood up and said, “Excuse me fellas. I need to go to the ladies room.”
“And I need to get me a drink. Would you like to go with me Eric?” John asked.
Their friends’ not so subtle maneuvers to leave them alone made them smile at each other.
“We miss you at ASAP. I miss our prods together.”
“Just our prods? How about the person you’re in that prod with? Did you miss him too?”
“Not really. Just the prods. I mean, there’s nothing much to miss about him. His smile’s the kind where his eyes turn into these tiny slits you can hardly see them, which makes him really cute. Then there’s his voice which is soothing enough to make you want to listen to it all day. And he defends you when he feels like other people are hurting you. So, to answer your question, no, I didn’t miss him. Not in the tiniest bit.”
“Yeah I could see that. He’s not really very likeable is he?”
“Not an iota of likeability in him.”
Some guests were coming over to congratulate him for his launching and while he was busy talking to them, she took the opportunity to study him. And a sudden realization hit her. It’s not everyday that one can have a friend like him. He had been with her in her journey in this business, from SFAN, to ASAP to NOTC to the TNO Tour. Someone who knew her when she was still a struggling contestant. Someone who could relate to what she had been through to achieve everything that she has right now.
When they were alone again, she told him, “I don’t say this very often Mark, but I just want to thank you for being my friend. I feel very blessed to have known someone like you in my life. Someone who I know is true and sincere in every thing that he does.”
He was quiet for a while as if contemplating the words she just said to him. Then abruptly, he said, “Okay Sarah, how much is it?”
Confused, she asked, “How much what?”
“Yung uutangin mo! Those nice words you said to me were just a prelim to that right? But I’m warning you, I may be launching my fifth album but I just have a couple of hundred bucks here in my wallet.”
While she was laughing that one-of-a-kind laugh of hers, he was just contented at looking at her, savoring the best view this place could offer. Here she is, the woman he loves the most in the world, sitting so close yet he somehow cannot reach her. The woman who seems to be unaware of the tide of emotions she could create within him. She is the only person who could make him feel two contrasting emotions at a single moment. Every time he looks at her, he feels both happiness and pain. Happiness because he is fortunate enough to have known someone like her and pain because she does not feel for him the way he does for her.
“Mark’s a pretty decent guy.” Her mom was in her bedroom preparing some of her things for the next day’s activities.
“Where did that come from?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it just sort of came from nowhere Mommy.”
“No it did not. You just came from his album launching right? That’s why I thought of him.”
“Well, yeah he is. He’s a decent guy. I couldn’t argue with that.”
Her mom looked at her for a long moment and then continued, “You know Sarah, sometimes people come into our lives and we fail to see their true value, may be because there are so many distractions. There are some who come into our lives sweeping us off our feet, some bringing us to into dizzying heights and then there are those that come without fanfare. They’re the constant presence in our lives, whether we’re up or we’re down, they are just there, a steady presence.
You know how it is when you go camping and you build this fire to keep you warm for the night. Some think that love is like that, a fire burning intensely. But true love is more like an ember, providing a steady warmth. An intensely burning fire will fizzle soon enough. It may be very hot for a certain moment but eventually, it dies down. But an ember, although it does not dazzle you as much as an intensely burning fire, can give you warmth that would last for the whole night. Embers may stay in the background, overshadowed by this blazing fire that sometimes we fail to notice that they are actually the ones giving us the real warmth.”
“Mommy, why are you telling me all of this?”
“Come on Sarah, are you really asking me that question?”
As she was lying in bed, she thought of what her mom had just said. Her mom had never spoken to her like this before. She’s not much for words and today’s conversation was something new to her.
Kung sino ka man, dumating ka na. Those were the words she uttered in one of her concerts. Have I already met him? Or will I still meet him someday? Is he just around the corner, waiting for me to bump into him? Have I looked too far and failed to realize that he is just right there in front of me? Too stubborn and too preoccupied to recognize the fact that he is already there waiting for me? Have I read too many fictional love stories that my expectations are no longer realistic? Are guys like Edward just stuff that dreams are made of?
On this warm December night, a princess was dreaming. She dreamt of fires and embers. And she dreamt of a prince. But instead of the usual Roberts and Edwards, she dreamt of someone named Mark.
Move on. Get over her. Find someone new. You’re a good catch Mark. There are a lot of girls out there who want to be given the chance to love you. Life is short and those chances could pass you by. Those were some of the unsolicited advises he got from the people around him. If only there’s a switch somewhere in our hearts where we could turn off our feelings for a particular person. But that switch can be found nowhere. His heart beats for her and no one else’s. In this life, one has to make sacrifices in order to achieve one’s dreams. And one of that sacrifices is waiting. Wait for the right time. Wait for the universe to be in a particular order. Wait for her to realize that he is the one for her. God knows he’s willing to wait for as long as it takes.
His mind is asking him: Why Mark? Why are you doing this?
And his heart answers: Because she is worth it.
She is worth the wait.